Bert

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It was four months before Christmas, and everyone in the North Pole was busy making toys and chattering happy chatter; everyone that is, except Bert. Bert wasn’t happy, and everyone knew it.

“Good morning, Bert,” his boss, Mr. Spritely, would say when Bert came to work.

“Grrrrr,” Bert would respond and walk to his desk with a scowl on his face, his arms crossed, and his head down.

“Lovely day for making toys, isn’t it, Bert?” his elf friends would say. 

“Grrrrr,” Bert would reply. 

“Why the long face, Bert?” his friends would ask.

Bert’s response was always the same. “I don’t believe in kids.”

Bert’s friends did all they could to cheer him up, but Bert refused to be cheerful, and the elves that worked around him were beginning to become sad and doubtful themselves.

Bert’s boss knew he needed to help Bert, but he didn’t know how. How do you convince an elf that children really do exist? he wondered. He knew he needed to talk to Santa about the problem before it went any further.

“Santa,” he began, taking a small sip of hot chocolate. “Oh that really is delicious hot chocolate, Santa. Where’d you get the recipe?”

“Ho, ho, ho,” Santa laughed. “I learned the recipe from a friend of mine in Bombay thousands of years ago.”

“Very tasty,” Mr. Spritely said, “and just the right temperature.” He sighed. “Santa, we’ve got a bit of a problem on our hands.”

“Oh?” Santa asked, surprised.

“Yes,” Mr. Spritely continued. “It’s Bert.”

“Bert?” Santa asked. “Why he’s one of our finest elves.”

“Was one of our finest elves,” Mr. Spritely said. “Oh, Santa, I don’t know how to tell you this, but he doesn’t believe in children anymore.”

“What? Doesn’t believe in children?” Santa asked. “How can that be?”

“It’s such a shame,” Mr. Spritely continued. “He used to put such joy into the toys he made. They had such a sparkle to them, you know?” Santa nodded, and Mr. Spritely continued. “Now, though, he makes toys with a frown on his face. He doesn’t even sing while he puts them together. There’s no joy in the toys, and I’m sure the children will feel it when they open a gift he’s made.”

“Um-hum,” Santa said, twisting his frosty white mustache. “Well, this is a predicament. A predicament I’ve never faced before. I’d like to say he could ride in my sleigh on Christmas Eve and come see the children firsthand, but there are problems with that.”

“Like what?” Mr. Spritely asked.

“Well, none of the other elves have ever ridden in my sleigh on Christmas Eve. They all believe by faith that children exist and are receiving the toys they’ve made, and they rely on me to tell them what the children think of those toys. It just wouldn’t be fair to take Bert with me and no one else.”

“Hmm,” Mr. Spritely thought pensively.

While Santa Claus and Mr. Spritely were talking, Bert was putting the finishing touches on a red tricycle. He decided that since he didn’t think any child would ever ride it, he would use colors on the tricycle that didn’t match. Instead of using white and red streamers for the handlebars, Bert used orange, pink, and blue streamers. He also left a very important screw out of one of the pedals. If a child ever did ride this tricycle, the pedal would fall off.

Satisfied with the work he had done, Bert walked home and began packing a bag for himself. He decided he would leave the North Pole and seek out children on his own. 

“I’m tempted to say that Bert needs to learn to believe in children by faith without seeing them, just the way the children have to believe in me, but I’m afraid that if Bert’s doubt grows, he could spread his doubt to other elves. Where would we be then? Without Christmas is where we would be.”

Mr. Spritely shook his head. “Oh Santa,” he said. “There must be a way to help Bert.”

“Well, Spritely, perhaps I’ll take a risk. Perhaps I’ll let Bert ride with me on Christmas Eve. Perhaps I can disguise Bert as a bird of some sort, so that if anyone sees him, they won’t know he’s an elf.”

“Oh Santa! That’s a wonderful idea!” Mr. Spritely said, clapping his hands together. “Why don’t I bring him here so you can tell him?”

“Please do,” Santa smiled gently.

…

Christmas Eve morning, the North Pole was abuzz! The final touches had been made to all of the toys, and Santa had loaded every last one of them in his big red bag. Today was a day of celebration, dancing, and anticipation. The elves couldn’t wait to hear Santa’s report on Christmas day of the children’s faces when they opened their gifts.

As Santa and the rest of the elves danced and sang and ate too many cookies, Bert sat in a corner. “Grrrrr,” he said to himself. He didn’t even seem grateful that he was about to take a trip no other elf had ever taken: a trip to see the rest of the world. And he certainly wasn’t grateful that he was making the trip in a bird costume. “This is ridiculous,” he mumbled, holding out his arm and looking at the feathers dangling from it.

“Ho, ho, ho,” Santa shouted at midnight. “It’s time for me to make my rounds. We’ll see you all tomorrow!”

“Goodbye, Santa!” the elves shouted. “Goodbye! Be sure to tell us what the children think of their gifts!”

“On Dancer and Prancer and Donner and Blitzen! On Comet and Cupid and Violet and Vixen! On Rudolph! Light the way!” 

The sleigh rose quickly into the air and disappeared from sight. The elves sighed a collective sigh. “We can’t wait until tomorrow,” they said, and took themselves to bed.

…

Santa, Bert, and the reindeer made their way to New Zealand first. Santa stopped on each rooftop to drop off presents. Though there were more than a million homes in New Zealand, Bert didn’t see any children.

“Give it time,” Santa said.

“Grrrrr,” Bert said, and crossed his arms.

Next, they flew to Indonesia, China, Japan, and Korea. Not many children believe in Santa Claus in those countries, so there weren’t as many homes to stop at.

They made their way through India and the Middle East, across Africa and into Europe, and Bert was getting more and more gloomy.

“Grrrrr,” Bert said. “I told you children don’t exist. This is all a waste of time.”

“Ho, ho, ho,” Santa laughed. “I guarantee you’ll see a child before the night is through!”

Next they made their way through South America and the United States and Canada. Santa took a deep detour south the hit Hawaii before ending the night. He always liked to go to Hawaii last.

As Santa and Bert flew over the first house, a large tropical bird caught site of Bert. Bert looked like no other bird this one had ever seen, so it flew in closer to him to get a better look. 

The beautiful bird got too close, though, and knocked Bert out of the sleigh. Down, down, down he fell right through a small chimney and into someone’s fireplace. Bert picked himself up and dusted himself off and sat in the corner waiting for Santa to come and get him. But Santa never came. 

Bert was all alone in the house. He’d never been in a person’s home before and decided to explore a little. He wandered through the kitchen and up the stairs to a small bedroom. As he stepped inside the door, he couldn’t believe his eyes.

There right in front of him, sleeping quietly in her bed was a child. A real live child! Bert caught his breath. He could feel his heart beating faster. Could I have hit my head during the fall? he thought. Could I be imagining this? No, certainly not, was his answer to himself.

He stood quietly in the doorway for several moments just watching the child. A slight smile crossed her face, hinting of sweet dreams she was having. Bert tiptoed quietly back down the stairs and tried to find a hiding place in the living room. Somewhere that would allow him to see Santa, if he came, and also the child when she awoke in the morning. 

He found an oversized pillow crammed beside the side of the couch, and he hid himself behind it and waited. Bert awoke several hours later to the sound of little feet coming down the stairs. He peeked out from behind the pillow and watched Sara make her way to the living room.

He heard her gasp as she saw a brand new tricycle sitting under the Christmas tree. She ran over to it and immediately jumped on. It was a red tricycle with pink and yellow streamers hanging from the handlebars. Sara ran her little hands through them. Bert watched her face the entire time.

If I were writing this down, he thought, I would say her face is like the warmth of the sun shining into a cold winter day and that her joy is as comforting and touching as the sound of my favorite Christmas carol.

And then, as Sara peddled the tricycle through the living room to the kitchen, Bert realized that the tricycle was a toy he had made. He remembered selecting the pink and yellow streamers for the handlebars. The other elves weren’t so sure those colors would look good together, but Bert had liked them. 

Little elf tears began to well up in his eyes. “I never knew,” he whispered. “I never knew my little toys could bring such happiness.”

He watched as Sara opened other gifts. Her joy became his joy, and suddenly where doubt and grumpiness had been, Bert felt only peace and hope. He snuck out of his hiding place and ran to give Sara a hug. She stood surprised and speechless and watched him crawl up the chimney.

“Thank you,” he heard her little voice say as he climbed out to the roof.

“You’re welcome!” he whispered down to her. “Merry Christmas!”

He sat for a few moments on the roof before the now very visible Santa saw him and quickly picked him up. “Where have you been, Bert?” Santa asked. “I’ve been so worried about you!”

“Oh, I was just meeting a child for the first time. That’s all,” Bert replied.

“So you saw one then?” Santa asked

“Oh, Santa! I did! and she was beautiful! and wonderful! I’ll never forget her! Thank you for bringing me on this trip with you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

“Ho, ho, ho! You’re welcome, Bert! Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas, Santa!” Bert said, and they flew back to the North Pole.

The End

Once upon a time in a very special and magical land, there lived two sisters. They were very good friends. They lived in a land with many colorful flowers, green, green grass, and many tall and beautiful trees. It rarely rained in this land, but when it did, the rain came down in silver droplets that landed on the flower petals. The sisters liked to play in the rain and let the drops fall on their faces and hair. As the sun returned after each storm, the silver raindrops turned into tiny diamonds which the girls collected in velvet purses.

The sisters had a pond on their land, and they loved walking down to the water in their fairy dresses. They would get into their canoe and paddle across the very still pond. When they got to the other side of the pond, big fluffy clouds would float down from the sky to meet them. They would step onto the clouds which became a path for them. The path led way up into the sky to a beautiful palace. Sometimes the sisters would peek over the edges of the clouds while they walked to the palace, and they could see the forest and pond below. It was a beautiful sight. If they were lucky, they could occasionally see swans flying past them up and over the clouds, soaring on the wind.

The path of clouds ended at the door to the secret castle where everything was the perfect size for the sisters. No one else could come into the castle because the door was too small for anyone but them. They would carry their velvet purses with them to the castle and put the diamonds from them in colored jars in the hall. When the sun shone on the jars, it made a colored rainbow across the walls.

After arranging the diamonds in the jars, the two sisters would put on their tiny slippers and tiny royal robes that were made especially for them. They would look in their tiny mirrors and sit in their tiny chairs. They would drink from their tiny teacups and eat tiny cakes. And when they'd had their fill, they would paint with their tiny paint brushes.

At the end of the day, the big, fluffy cloud would meet them at the window. They would step onto the cloud, and it would drift slowly back to the ground. The gentle wind would blow through their hair as they fell asleep on the cloud, and the sky would slowly turn from day to night. Once the cloud reached their home it would fade away into the night air leaving the girls asleep in their own beds on their soft fluffy pillows dreaming of another day in their happy world.